Tuesday, August 31, 2010

"that guy"

i hate that guy.

seriously, he is the downfall of a normal society as we know it... or knew it before we wrote a couple of catchy tracks anyway. That guy is fucking everywhere, and he always makes himself known by saying "i don't want to be that guy...but..."  but!   WHAT? dude, YOU'RE THAT GUY!.  fuck that guy...   shit, too many people are watching, i guess i have to deal with that guy for a minute. ...<sarcasm> i wonder what that guy wants now.</sarcasm>

Usually that guy is harmless and just wants a quick photo. i can deal with that most times. That guy always wants me to sign something, but he never has a pen. That guy doesn't have his shit together, and doesnt know how to work his camera either.... i'd bet you my left nut that there are over 300 video's of me posing for a photo for 3 seconds until some drunk chick screams into the camera "ITS TAKING A VIDEO".

That guy doesnt know how to highfive either... (protip: look at the other persons elbow and you'll nail it everytime.) And when he's not trying to dosh out high fives, he's got his sweaty arm around your neck, practically putting you in a headlock and screaming a phrase in your ear that always starts with "I KNOW YOU GET THIS ALL THE TIME BUT..." maybe some other people don't get tired of that.

That guy is coincedently the same guy who saw you at a show 3 years ago and said the exact same shit, and if you didnt remeber, he'll remind you, and expect you to remeber. Just smile and nod, otherwise he'll say "you dont have to be an asshole" ... ive tried this once in Los Angeles.... you know... being honest. "i honestly dont remeber you dude, but i have a terrible memory" ...  WELL FUCK YOU MAN! I THOUGHT WE WERE TIGHT.... hmmm.. don't worry that guy, were tight, i know you well.

sometimes that guy teams up with those other guys and they take turns doing that guy things.... which is okay too i guess, because at least you can see what you're about to walk into.

That guy's girlfriend is always hot too...  how the fuck did that guy do that? is she like... that chick or something?  where do those chicks hang out? it's crazy. But im happy for that guy, that guy is at least having a great time and 2 out of 5 has a hot that girl with em... so life can't be at all bad for that guy.

here's to that guy.